


You and Me and The War of The End Times

by Ofi



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:45:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofi/pseuds/Ofi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They don't so much fall in love as actively deny their way there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and Me and The War of The End Times

The incident happens a year after they land.

She isn't sure who makes the first move. She just knows that it's raining and they are running and suddenly Bellamy is close, closer than she's let anyone who isn't bleeding be in a long time. 

They literally meet half way.

It's a messy kiss- bumped teeth and raw lips, and over ask quick as it was initiated. They both stare at each other with mounting horror until Bellamy throws his head back and just laughs. It doesn't take Clarke longer to dissolve into helpless giggles as it rains harder.

"Are you guys okay?" Octavia asks when she finds them still doubled over in laughter. Bellamy's hand falls from where he had it balled up on the hem of her jacket but he smiles when he meets Clarke's eyes.

"Yeah, I think we're okay"

\---

Later that night, they are sitting by the fire listening to the probably tall tale that the other members of the hunting party they were with are telling. If either of them is put off by the incident, they are making a great show of hiding it.

Bellamy clears his throat, "So earlier…"

His voice is an impossible mix of hesitation and bravado- a heady mix that Clarke thinks she'll never see in another person. She looks up from the fire to look him in the eyes as he ventures, "That was…"

Here his voice trails off again and they can only manage helpless glances. "It was something huh?" Clarke offers tentatively after wracking her mental thesaurus for the most neutral adjectives in existence. 

He smiles at the word and repeats in slowly, as if testing out its use.

Someone calls his name and his smile turns apologetic as he stands. "We should try it again sometime"

Always with the last word and Clarke tries to not let her mouth hang open is stick as she watches him walk away. Her thoughts aren't neutral.

\---

The next incident isn't such a mess. It's actually downright romantic. A late night perimeter patrol has turned into a slow stroll by the moonlight and when she tugs on his arm for his to stop as she points out a shooting star with her free hand, he leans down to kiss her instead.

Her hands are around his neck, while his hand has gone around her waist pulling his closer. There is that same urgency from the first incident that is just starting to give way to newer, scarier feeling when they hear the sound of rustling from a thicket nearby and an all-too-familiar voice say "Oh… Fuck"

Jasper's lanky frame emerges from a bush and even though it's dark, it's impossible to hide what they've been doing. "Am I interrupting? I think I'm interrupting. I'll stop talking now"

He all but melts back into the foliage, stuttering out "Keep on carrying on!"

There's more rustling and they are both still and quiet.

"Maybe next time?" Clarke says, smoothing out over hair and giving him a steady smile.

Bellamy has never been fond of maybes and the notion of patience. He sneaks into Clarke's tent later that night and kisses her hard on her cot.

Her legs go around his waist and Bellamy decides to believe into those stupid shooting stars of her just a little bit.

\---

Incidents become occurrences become Bellamy tugging Clarke into any empty space they can find.

Certainty is a luxury in this new world of theirs. She's learned to grasp onto whatever constants she can. Like the fact that he always spans a hand across her back whenever they are pressed together, as if he's keeping her safe from the tree bark or dirt. She always cleans up the scrapes on the back on his hand and he'll say thanks with a soft smile that makes her feel something other than lust (something new and frightening and she wishes she had a better word for it).

Sometimes, his hand will linger in hers when she's done bandaging it. It's the closest they've come to holding hands.

\---

"Like this?"

"Like that."

Bellamy still asks even though this is something they've done so many times now that he has her likes carefully observed and catalogued. But he still asks, because a part of him still worries.

It's all memorized every sigh and moan, every reaction to when her touches her or slows down or speeds up. He's made a study of Clarke Griffin.

He likes to hear her voice as she writhes beneath him. He like the verbal confirmation that this is all still okay.

Sometimes Clarke says his name in a breathy voice that threatens to undo him in seconds, but he keeps going because if there is one thing that the Blake's know, it's perseverance.

She shudders around him, her bruised lips coming together in a perfect circle. Her voice is cracked and soft and perfect and it's his name that she's saying over and over.

"Something" she'd said after they'd first kisses; she's smiled so easily and his stomach had twisted and he'd known that he'd kiss her again.

Bellamy smiles, hides it in her blonde hair as he kisses her head and buries himself deeper.

\---

"You could stay"

If Clarke hadn't been so frightened at the three tiny words she just uttered, she's laugh at his deep-caught-in-flashlight expression. 

"You don't half to" she quickly adds.

She will soon have to start counting on two hands the number of months they've been seeing each other. How they've managed to keep it under wraps, she's still not sure- they aren't exactly cautious. But they've neither stayed the whole night at each other tents. 

Bellamy cocks his head to side slightly, one leg already in his pants, as he stares at her still on the cot. He nods, "Ok"

They fall asleep, curled up in a tangle of limbs; both hoping the other doesn't hear how hard their hearts are beating.

\---

Habits are hard to hide. And, again, it's not like they're particularly careful. Some days Clarke wonders if Bellamy wants someone to find them. How many private "emergencies" meetings can they have in the middle of the day in his tent before someone starts to suspect?

So it's only inevitable that Jasper still eyes them with unabashed curiosity, as if he expects them to blatantly start making out at any moment. Bellamy thinks he must have told Monty what he saw that night because the other boy can barely meet them in the eyes whenever they are all together.

And of course, it's Raven who actually catches them in the drop ship’s med bay with Bellamy's hand up Clarke's shirt. 

"Holy shit" Raven says, hiding her eyes behind her hand, laughing, and quickly stumbling her way back out.

Clarke's face is new shades of red and Bellamy quickly kisses her and says, "Worth it".

Days later, Octavia bursts into her brother's tent in the early morning hours and find Clarke, half dressed, in their as well. It takes massive levels of bribing to keep her quiet but nothing wipes away the triumphant smile on the younger Blake's face.

\---

Finn, and the rest of the camp incidentally, find out by the river. A large group of them are heading out to scout near the old bunker, and taking a short cut through the riverbank's rocky path.

Clarke finds herself literally stuck between Bellamy and Finn who are both being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Rocks are wet up here" Bellamy calls back at them "Watch your steps, it's bigger fall from these"

So, of course, her jump from one rock to the next goes comically wrong and Clarke finds herself grasping at nothing as she falls.

It's no more than a two feet drop, and luckily, this portion of their trek is over deeper water that serves for a much softer landing than a rock would have. She's aware enough when she hits the water to immediately start clawing her way back to the surface. But she quickly feels a hand on her wrist, dragging her faster. 

As she gasps for air and blinks the water out of her eyes, she finds herself on the sandy embankment with Bellamy and Finn before her. 

"Are you okay?" Finn asks, but it's Bellamy who's grabbing her arms and checking for bruises and breaks.

"I'm okay." Clarke says and repeats it a little more forcefully as Bellamy continues his inspection. He pushes her wet hair out of her face and his hand lingers for a second too long.

"I'm fine, Bellamy" she says bring her hand up to cover his "I promise"

Someone, who sounds a lot like Miller, clears their throat and says, "So she's good?"

Clarke looks past Bellamy to see that it wasn't just Bellamy and Finn fretting over her, it's the whole scouting group who've just gotten front row tickets to Clarke and Bellamy's first public display of affection.

She tries standing, but as soon as she's up her left leg gives out and Bellamy immediately reaches out to keep her from falling.

She grimaces, "I think my ankle's sprained"

Bellamy tightens his hold around her waist and look at the group, "Jasper, Miller, and Spacewalker are in charge. Get to the bunker; crash there if you get there around sundown. Grab whatever looks useful and report to me by tomorrow night. I'll take Clarke back"

"I'll be fine" she insists, wriggling in his grasp enough that he looses his hold long enough for her to gingerly balance on her right foot. 

"I plan to make sure of that,” Bellamy says.

"I can take her back," Finn offers.

Bellamy shakes his head no and once again tightens his hold on Clarke, "Your responsibility is to be our tracker. You take care of your duties, I'll take care of mine."

Clarke is certain her face is brand new shades of red and the group is uncharacteristically quiet as she loops her arm around Bellamy's shoulder. "Stay safe,” she says quietly and they split their paths.

As soon as they are out of sight, she takes Bellamy's offer of carrying her on his back. She tightens her legs around his waist and berates herself for missing such a simple jump.

Now they've all but ousted themselves and she can't help but wonder if he'll think their arrangement is worth the grief he'll get at camp.

"You could have let Finn bring me back. Now they'll all be talking"

Bellamy shrugs "Let them talk"

"You don't understand, they're going to know or at least strongly suspect about us"

"I understood you the first time, Clarke,” he says. He keeps his face carefully blank and Clarke is glad he currently can't see hers because she knows she's blushing again. 

Instead of keeping quiet and contemplating the potential meaning in his words, she can't help but blurt out "It doesn't bother you that they'll know?"

Bellamy's jaw tightens and he glances at her face, burrowed onto the crook of his shoulder and asks "Why? Does it bother you?"

She shakes her head no and mumbled "Of course not"

The scowl on his face is replaced with a grin "So it's settled, we're not bothered"

When they reach camp, he assures anyone who asks that she's okay. But instead of taking her to the drop ship or her own tent, they head straight for his and do not emerge until the next morning when the scouting party arrives.

There are wide mouthed stares when they exit the tent together, and Clarke hears Miller announce to no one in particular: "Called it"

\---

If you had asked Clarke at the beginning, it would have been Bellamy who pushed the button and let her burn. That is until that day, so long ago, when she slipped and he was the one who grabbed her arm and didn't let go.

It was Bellamy who met her in the middle for that first kiss, who taught her how to shoot, and patiently explained the intricacies of behind an older sibling. It was Bellamy who fought and killed so that she could heal and pretend her hands were clean no matter how bloody they got.

It was Bellamy who was all but moved into her tent and always took great pains not to wake her in the morning. And it's with him that one morning when she woke up first, she looked at him and could only think of one word that she couldn't bring herself to say.

Love is a luxury.

Because it's Bellamy who is standing too far away from the drop ship doors with Finn, hacking away at Grounders.

Miller tugs on her arm and Clarke can't breathe. "I'm sorry Clarke" Miller is shouting over the din "We're out of time."

Clarke yells out his name as Miller and Jasper are all but dragging her inside, and Bellamy looks up at her as the doors start to close.

Bellamy smiles and it's Clarke who feels like her skin is on fire.

\---

There are no scorch marks on her skin but the white room prison feels like penance and purgatory. She imagines the pills she takes each day as prayer beads stringing themselves together in her stomach to remind her of how many people she killed with one terrible word.

She mostly sleeps in the Mountain Men's prison, curled up on the sterile bed, and ways for the next dose of whatever they are pumping her full of.

Sometimes she'll stand at the window and mouth words at Monty.

Jasper? Monty mouths the word slowly and Clarke smiles and nods, the only sign that she can think of convey that he'd survived and was probably in the compound with them.

He says more names and when he says Finn's, Clarke shakes her head no. 

Bellamy? Clarke finds she can't shake her head and when Monty's face looks concerned, she touches her own to realize she's crying.

Sorry, Clarke replies and she doesn't go to the window for a few days.

The pills give her the most vivid dreams she's ever had, playing scenes out in gorgeous definition. She dreams of radioactive fireflies that burn too bright and of shooting stars that crash, creating bigger mushroom clouds that glow brighter than when the Exodus ship crashed. She dreams of swimming in the river and the mud between her toes. Sometimes she dreams of the war, and the explosion she orchestrated, sees the flames swirling out in colors too beautiful for words.

Other times she'll dream of Wells, his brown eyes free from any pain as he pleads with her not to take the pills. The Earth becomes the Ark becomes her room, and sometimes she forgets which cell she's in. Though her mind is muddled, Clarke knows that if she were to stop taking the pills, they'd probably drug the food.

She doesn't dream of Bellamy very much, and she's grateful for that solace. When he does appear, it's brief snippets. She dreams of the rain that drenched them during their first kiss, and how his dark hair curled weighted down by water.

She dreams of him smiling in the morning her tent and of him running, always just barely out of reach as her fingertips brush again his jacket and he is gone.

Clarke wakes to a wet pillow and hugs her arms even tighter around herself.

\---

She wakes lazily on the day the alarms finally do go off. She hears the all-too-familiar signs of a fight and freezes on the bed. 

Her door swingy wildly open and Clarke draws herself up defiantly, grabbing her breakfast tray and ready to swing blindly at whatever emerges from the smoke pouring into her room.

She's not exactly sure what she should say when it's Finn who appears.

"I killed you" is all that lamely comes out. Her voice sounds strange in her own ears and she tightens the grip on the tray she's brandishing.

"Spacewalker, I don’t see her!”

The tray slips from her hand just as Bellamy steps into her view, followed closely by her fellow captives.

"Found you,” he says with a lopsided grin, as if they'd only been temporarily separated. Clarke strongly contemplates if she's hallucinating. She hears more shouting and gunfire. 

He steps into the room and she scrambles off the bed, her limbs unsteady. Bellamy decides then that he will burn this place to the ground.

It's not exactly meeting in the middle, and as her senses start to wake, she knows he'll be crowing about this rescue for a long time. 

But he's solid and not dead and this is a constant, a luxury that Clarke decides to allow herself. Her emotions are still so dormant that the only reaction she can muster is something between sobbing and laughter. 

"I love you" she says still crying and laughing 

Bellamy tightens his arms around her and laughs harder.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Calamity Song" by The Decemberists.
> 
> I know I have my multi-chapter baby to finish up but I haven't been around lately and this seemed like a good place to pick up again. Forgive my rambling.


End file.
